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madame
hi there, this is me, the owner, CADEN YAP a.k.a the singapore no.1 bastard
birthday falls on 24th MARCH every year


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Friday, June 09, 2006 8:35 PM
i dun wanna fight no more. im tired.. but though i'm determined to stay with you, what if one day i gave up? what are you going to do? this few days, i didnt see you.. i didnt msg you much either. so what does it mean? we are over? or what?? i seriously dun understand.. im still thinking if i should go your house today. im afraid that you will flare up again, though you promised me you will not.

im afraid. afraid of so many things. from faith, to fear. from visions to visionless. from abilty to disabilty. what should i do?? i do NOT want to cry anymore. i had cried enough for this kind of issues. i really do NOT want to cry. Lord, show me your way. i need You, and just You alone.

i never regretted going down today. i felt the strength when i enter the nursery. i felt the peace that i longed for when i entered the nursery. i missed it.. but i was tinking of something else actually. you maybe right in front of me, but still, i do not dare to talk to you face to face. i always felt the urge to talk to you. but i just could not do it. perhaps i might be brave on the surface. but actually i'm shy in front of my friends. i miss you a lot. really a lot.

best friends are there to pull you up. not down. they are there to stand with you through the thick and thin. they are there to encourage you when you felt so helpless, when you felt that no one cares. choose the right peers, and you will have the right whether to change for the better under their influence. mature friends come with WISDOM, GOOD CHARACTER, RESPONSIBLITIES and SPIRITUALITY. find the mature ones to hang out. :)

going to airport later. to send people off. lols. tomorrow got DnT camp.. but then my schedule are like so packed that i do not how the hell am i going to pack my bag for the camp. perhaps i shall go your house later and then go changi airport and back to yishun before going to school for camp. hahas. good idea?? i do not know.. i'm stil considering la.. sian..